#10 Bruce Jenner. 58-year-old Bruce Jenner has made a lot of changes in his life since winning that gold medal at the 1976 Summer Olympics. Yes, these days it’s difficult to look at before-and-after pictures of the former track star without shaking a fist up towards God and screaming, Why! Why! Why! I try not to judge the American icon. Truly, I do. Perhaps his penchant for plastic surgery began moments after the Wheaties brand breakfast cereal replaced his picture on their boxes with a new, younger “Wheaties Champion.” Yes, that must be it.
Gossip website AngelFire.com reports that Jenner’s had 2 facelifts, eyelid surgery, and 2 nose jobs. AwfulPlasticSurgery.com adds both chin and cheek implants to that list. They also describe Jenner’s new look as “not quite human.”
Jessica LangeAwful Plastic Surgery
#9 Jessica Lange. One could argue that 58-year-old, two-time Academy Award-winning American actress Jessica Lange represents just about everything that’s wrong with Hollywood these days.
Lange is best known for her performances in King Kong (1976 remake), Tootsie (1982), Men Don’t Leave (1990), and Cape Fear (1991), to name just a few of the notable films she has starred in over the last 30 years. And yet now, her cosmetically altered face paints the portrait of a middle-aged woman who’s so afraid of losing good parts to other – less talented starlets – half her age, that she mutilated her all-natural beauty in an unsuccessful attempt to shave off a few years.
A 2003 article in the San Francisco Chronicle, “Many actresses hitting middle age find themselves desperate for good parts,” sums it up best:
“The pressure on actresses to freeze, stretch, cut and tuck is so enormous that one wonders if there will be anyone left to play a grandmother who truly looks like a grandmother.”
Kenny RogersAwful Plastic Surgery
#8 Kenny Rogers. People Magazine – God bless ’em – cut to the chase in a 2006 interview with the 68-year-old country music legend, when they asked Kenny Rogers straight out if he’d had plastic surgery. His response:
“‘Yes, I have. I did a lot more a long time ago. Dolly (Parton) used to kid me about it. But like everybody I blame the media for it. In the first six years of my career, I got more comments on my weight than on my singing. So I think I became so self-conscious that I started working on it harder.
Last year I had so many lines coming in at the side of my eyes up here. So I went in and got my eyes done, and I’m not happy about it. (The surgeon) is going to go in and fix that for me. They’re too tight around the eyelids for me. It drives me crazy. I wake up in the morning, and Wanda says, You look great. But I know what I want to look like. If we can fix that, then I’ll be glad I did it. If we can’t fix it, I’ll regret it or get used to it.’
Elizabeth & Bob DoleAwful Plastic Surgery
#7 Elizabeth and Bob Dole. As reported by Wikipedia, 71-year-old Elizabeth Hanford “Liddy” Dole was elected to the United States Senate in 2002 to represent North Carolina for a term ending in 2009. Her husband is former U.S. Senator and Presidential nominee Bob Dole. And, yes, it appears that neither husband nor wife had enough campaign funds over the years to cover the cost of a good (much less certified) plastic surgeon.
Oh yes! Nothing says Trust Your Elected Official like a bad facelift.
Sigfried & Roy Awful Plastic Surgery
#6 Sigfried and Roy. FYI: My own cat’s been spooked by less scary creatures. That said, I think the 63-year old Roy Horn looked better after the mauling by his 7-year-old tiger, during a live performance at the MGM in Los Vegas in 2003. I know, I know, I’m going to hell. But at least now we know who’s the face (Celine Dion, lower right) he’s been trying to, ahem, copycat all these many long years.
Barry ManilowAwful Plastic Surgery
#5 Barry Manilow. 63-year-old American singer and songwriter Barry Manilow is best known for his recordings “I Write the Songs”, “Mandy” and “Copacabana”. As reported by Wikipedia, his career achievements include selling more than 75 million records worldwide. With those kinds of numbers, one would think he’d be able to afford a decent plastic surgeon. Yes, I realize Barry and his “Fanilows” are getting up there in age, but there’s really no need for Barry to ready himself for Madame Tussauds Wax Museum just yet.
In 2003 Manilow was reported to have had a complete upper and lower facelift. A 2006 post on DailyMail.co.uk claims “he was photographed emerging from a Beverly Hills clinic sporting a woman’s long blonde wig, a baseball cap, and sunglasses. The unconventional look was rounded off with an unseemly surgical gauze worn under his chin.”
Joan RiversAwful Plastic Surgery
#4 Joan Rivers. According to Wikipedia, 74-year-old comedian, Joan Rivers is “an avid and unapologetic user of plastic surgery to enhance her looks.” Unfortunately, excessive surgery is causing her to look like Ventriloquist Edgar Bergen’s best-known sidekick, Charlie McCarthy.
Mickey RourkeAwful Plastic Surgery
#3 Mickey Rourke. What in the world’s happened to the Mickey Rourke most remember from his big-screen appearances in Body Heat (1981), Nine 1/2 Weeks (1986), and Bar Fly (1987), to name just a few of the titles on the actor’s colorfully inconsistent resume.
According to AwfulPlasticSurgery.com, the 51-year-old actor has “had a chin implant, large square cheek implants, a lower lip implant, and several rhinoplasty surgeries… The worst part of his plastic surgery is his too tight facelift, which highlights his mishmash look.”
Salon.com speculates that “Rourke’s outside began to match his tumultuous inside” around 1990. “His face-lift looks too fresh — he’s having trouble moving his mouth, and his forehead, so expressive in Diner and Rumble Fish, is way too smooth, motionless and shiny like a balloon dipped in Clinique bronzer.”
If Mickey’s not careful… he’s going to look like #1 on our list in no time.
Michael Jackson Awful Plastic Surgery
#2 Michael Jackson. What can I say about MJ that hasn’t already been said, other than he’s starting to look a lot like #4 on our list, Joan Rivers?
#1 Jocelyn Wildenstein. To my knowledge, Jocelyn “Cat Woman” Wildenstein has never appeared in a movie or on stage as an actress or a singer. She’s earned her celebrity status, making the tabloids time and time again, with her insatiable appetite for cosmetic surgery. Just how many elective procedures has she had? I’m guessing it’s close to the number of presidential scandals to hit the airways since Nixon.
Born in Switzerland in 1940, the 67-year-old has allegedly spent almost 4 million BIG ONES on various cosmetic procedures. According to Wikipedia, “Some people believe that she had the surgeries done in order to win back the affections of her billionaire husband, Alec Wildenstein, who shared her interest in exotic wild cats.
It looks as if Ms. Wildenstein may also be a fan of the 1985 film, Mask. There’s a striking resemblance between her and the film’s main character, ‘Rocky’ Dennis (played by Eric Stoltz), a boy with a massive skull deformity. Cher plays Rocky’s mother, Rusty Dennis, in the film. To quote my favorite line from the film: “What’s the matter, never seen anyone from the planet Vulcan before?”